


Your friendly cheesy Poltergeist

by damianwayne



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, a tiny wee bit of angst but happy ending, futakuchi is there for a short time ok, ghost smooches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:10:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8471530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damianwayne/pseuds/damianwayne
Summary: “GET OUT, I WILL TAKE YOU-”
  “Relax, it’s me,” Iwaizumi said.
  “Oh, hey. Have you sold it yet?”
  “Obviously not, you idiot." 
Iwaizumi is a real estate agent who is really pissed off because he can't sell this house and the reason is one annoying Poltergeist with the name Tendou.





	

**Author's Note:**

> its me ur friendly iwaten shipper  
> i read too many spider man comics i keep thinkin of ur friendly neighborhood spider man
> 
> anyway this is based on [this tumblr post](http://thecw4kids.tumblr.com/post/152610530918)

 

No idea how Iwaizumi ended up as a real estate agent.

Really. When he finished High School and went to college, he was an architecture major. Oikawa once joked about it and said “You only want to be one in case Godzilla attacks Tokyo and you can rebuild it again, right, Iwa-chan?”

That was of course ridiculous. Though, he had to admit the first time Iwaizumi really paid attention to buildings was when he watched Godzilla and was worried about all the buildings being destroyed and- God damn it, he _really_ hates it when Oikawa was right. Or halfway right. Or just anything that was near the truth.

But instead of becoming an architecture (who would help rebuild Tokyo in case Godzilla attacks), Iwaizumi became a real estate agent. 

He wasn’t thirty yet, but he felt like fifty already and most of its faults were that one particular house he’s been trying to sell for so long now. He’s going to sell it, really. Iwaizumi didn’t like doing half assed things and at this rate if he doesn’t sell the house, it will look bad for him. His success rate would go down and Iwaizumi can’t have that.

His boss counted on him, two others have come before him and gave up, saying that it just wasn’t possible and now it was Iwaizumi’s turn. He’ll get a raise if he manages to sell it, his boss said and Iwaizumi really want that raise. 

He opened the door of the house, taking off his scarf and sighed.

Immediately the walls started shaking and noises were coming from everywhere in the house. “GET OUT, I WILL TAKE YOU-”

“Relax, it’s me,” Iwaizumi said.

In front of him appeared the reason why he still hadn’t been able to sell it yet. “Oh, hey. Have you sold it yet?”

“Obviously _not_ , you idiot,” Iwaizumi snarled back.

He didn’t believe in ghosts, not before he met Tendou. The not so friendly Poltergeist haunting this house with spiky red hair and a smug grin. “Sucks for you.” Iwaizumi glared at him. “What’s with the couple? I liked them.”

“You made their child _cry_ ,” Iwaizumi said.

“I tried to make it laugh! You know how you play that game with babies? Where you hide your eyes with your hands and are like ‘Where’s mommy?’. I just did the same. I just _literally_ left and appeared out of nowhere.” Tendou floated around in the air, following Iwaizumi who walked into the kitchen.

“Why do you have to make my job a living hell?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Aw, come on, Hajime.”

“Don’t call me Hajime!”

“I’m dead, pay some respect to the dead, Hajime and let me do what I want.” Tendou shrugged and sat down on the counter. 

“I can’t let you do whatever you want when my job’s on the line, Tendou!” That was a lie, his job wasn’t on the line. Except for this house, Iwaizumi was great at his job.

“And this is my house we’re speaking of.” Tendou patted the surface of the counter. “I grew up here, I don’t want it to go to some weirdos!”

“You’re the only weird guy,” Iwaizumi pointed out and Tendou pouted. Iwaizumi once asked him how he died and Tendou delivered him a very tragic speech about it. Of course Iwaizumi had been moved, but that was before he got to know him. Before he found out Tendou literally stole that story from some manga. Iwaizumi had since then given up on asking.

“Isn’t there another place for you to go?” Iwaizumi asked.

“No. I like it here. There’s no other place that’s as great as this is, also there are ghost rules.” Tendou was shaking his leg and Iwaizumi grabbed it, making him hold still. Tendou smirked. “Oh, Hajime, didn’t know you felt that way.”

Another thing Iwaizumi found out over the course: Tendou wasn’t transparent like you think ghosts are. He can materialize himself when he wants to, but most of the time he doesn’t and just walks through walls and doors.

“Ghost rules,” Iwaizumi repeated, letting go of his leg.

“Yeah, I can only go where something precious to me is.” Tendou shrugged. “And this house is pretty precious to me. All my childhood memories!”

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you have… friends?”

“Hajime, all my friends are dead, I was born in 1934,” Tendou said.

“Really?”

“No, you doofus!” Tendou laughed. “You fell for it again! Obviously not, do you think anyone in 1934 would have this kind of hair?” He pointed at his fiery red hair. “I’m glad I died with it, I don’t have to redye it.” 

Iwaizumi sighed again. He didn’t even know why he still came here sometimes, but when Tendou isn’t too annoying, he’s entertaining sometimes. Plus, he helps Iwaizumi with gardening and renovating the house. Seriously, it isn’t even Iwaizumi’s job and he wouldn’t even need to do it. The house is beautiful, the price is cheap. But nobody would ever buy it, no matter how nice it is when there’s a fucking Poltergeist.

“What about, I don’t know, moving on? Going to heaven or whatever? The after life?”

“Afterlife sounds boring and I don’t even know if it works that way,” Tendou said. “Okay, let’s do some things. How long are you gonna stay tonight? We could have a slumber party!”

Iwaizumi shook his head. “No.” He took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, which resulted in Tendou whistling. “What?”

“I have a thing for guys with rolled up sleeves,” Tendou said.

Tendou was annoying. Always. But sometimes he said things like that and Iwaizumi couldn’t even be his usual angry self. Not when he was trying hard not to blush. “Let’s just… let’s just start doing this.”

* * *

 

“You know, I know of why people don’t want to buy it and why it’s so cheap,” the client said as soon as they entered the living room. 

Iwaizumi hesitated. “Really?”

“Yes.” The guy smirked at him. “There’s a ghost here.”

“Well…”

Futakuchi, that was the guy’s name, just shrugged and laughed. “I don’t mind, I’m not afraid of ghosts.” Some people have said that already, but in the end most of them ran screaming out of the house. 

“That’s great then! He’s friendly, really, and not that bad,” Iwaizumi assured him.

Futakuchi chuckled and took a step closer to him. “Really? You’re not that bad either, Iwaizumi-san.”

Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows. He was used to this, clients hitting on him. Oikawa said he should use his ‘non existent charm’, everyone who has a job where you have to work with people did it. But yeah, he really wasn’t that good in it, not that he’d ever admit it to his best friend, so he never did it.

But, fuck. He wanted to get rid of this house for so long and if it means he has to flirt with Futakuchi, then so be it. He wasn’t that bad either, not Iwaizumi’s type (what even was his type when he gets embarrassed when a redhead weird ghost hits on him?), but he was attractive.

“Is that so? Then I hope you think this place isn’t that bad either,” Iwaizumi said.

Futakuchi just smiled at turned again to look around. “I’d never think a place you’d show me is bad. I hope you think so too.”

Iwaizumi cleared his throat. “How so?”

“I’d like to show you a place to after this? How about that new café that opened-”

The light bulb suddenly started to explode and Futakuchi jumped up. Iwaizumi was used to this. He just groaned and ran his hand through his face. Not again. He is starting to get really tired of changing the light bulbs in this house.

“What the hell was that?”

“IT’S ME, THE GHOST!” Tendou’s voice was different that his usual, much louder and deeper and it sounded like there were several Tendou’s speaking at the same time.

“Holy shit,” Futakuchi said. “It’s true.”

“Unfortunately,” Iwaizumi said. “Come on, Tendou, seriously?”

Futakuchi sighed. “I get why no one wants this,” he said. “But I like this house.”

“Get out of my house!” Another lightbulb exploded, followed by all the windows being thrown open at the same time. 

“Shut up,” Futakuchi screamed back. “I never give up until I get what I want.” He licked his lips and set his eyes on Iwaizumi. “I’m really serious about that.”

Iwaizumi smiled. Nobody had ever lasted this long, especially with Tendou being _this_ aggressive. “I’m glad to hear that,” he said.

“Good. So about what I just said-”

Suddenly a vase was thrown across the room and crashed against the wall behind Futakuchi. It flew so close to him, only a bit closer and it could’ve hurt him. “Holy shit,” Futakuchi whispered.

“Tendou!” Iwaizumi screamed. “Seriously, that’s not funny anymore! He could’ve been hurt!”

“I don’t care,” Tendou said, still not showing himself anywhere. “Get out of my house, or I’ll throw more. I have some shark knives here.”

Futakuchi widened his eyes. “Some jealous ghost you have there, Iwaizumi-san. No offense, but yeah, I take it back. I can’t live here. Also call me whenever you get rid of that ghost and want to get a drink.” He walked pass Iwaizumi and outside.

Iwaizumi didn’t even move. He could hear Futakuchi’s car from outside and a few moments later could see him driving away through the window. He took a deep breath. “You fucking shit,” he growled. “Come here. Immediately.”

Tendou appeared right in front of him, sitting on the ground. “Hi.”

“What the _hell_ was that?!”

Tendou smiled. “I chased him away! That’s what I do, that’s what I always do. Silly.” Tendou rolled his eyes. “I’m a Poltergeist after all.”

“No, you’re-…” Iwaizumi groaned loudly and grabbed his hair. “Okay, you don’t want him here, fine. You always do that, but never like that. He could’ve been seriously hurt! What if he cut himself?!”

Tendou laughed. “Hajime, don’t worry! I’m a ghost, I have supernatural powers, you think I can’t control where my objects land? I control this entire building!” He got up on his feet, towering over Iwaizumi, even without having to float in the air.

“No! You can’t do that, okay? I swear to god, Tendou- this isn’t funny anymore. You know what? I give up. I don’t want to do this, have some other poor guy take the job and try to sell your house, I’m done!” Iwaizumi screamed. He turned around and wanted to walk out of the door and call his boss, but Tendou grabbed his arm.

“No!”

“Let go of me, Tendou.”

“No, Hajime, please. I’m sorry, okay? Let me talk, don’t leave.” Tendou released him and Iwaizumi didn’t go, but he also didn’t leave. He turned to face Tendou, who was looking down. He seemed more transparent, Iwaizumi could look through him.

“Please, don’t give up.”

“You’ll never stop,” Iwaizumi said. “Where’s the point? Nobody wants to buy a haunted house.”

“Yeah, but… You’re fun, Hajime!”

“What?! You like messing with me? Is that your excuse?” God, Iwaizumi wondered why he liked him.

“No! I mean, yes, I kinda do.” Tendou chuckled. “But, you’re way more fun than all the other real estate agents before you! They’re ugly and serious and no fun at all. And you’re determined! You work so hard to sell this house and even work around the house! You’re the only person around here I don’t want gone!”

Iwaizumi didn’t know what to say. That was a little bit too much and he looked away. Shit, Oikawa would laugh if he heard about this. Twenty-six years old, haven’t had a serious relationship in three years and now got told by a fucking ghost how great he was… The worst is, Iwaizumi liked hearing it.

“Sorry I overstepped, I was just jealous of that guy!”

Iwaizumi blinked. “You were what?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” 

Iwaizumi blushed. “Shut up, Tendou,” was the only thing he could say and Tendou laughed. He wasn’t transparent anymore, he was right there and materialized himself and hugged Iwaizumi.

“I’m glad you forgave me!”

Iwaizumi pushed him away. He was still a ghost. He can’t fall for a fucking _ghost_. He didn’t know anything about Tendou. “You’re making me look bad,” Iwaizumi said. “Our agency is going to drop the case, you know that, right?” His boss told him that the other day, they’ll give up.

“Good,” Tendou said, smiling. “Let me live in peace.”

Iwaizumi sighed. “Okay, let’s change the light bulbs. And you tidy that mess up.” He pointed at the vase and Tendou saluted.

“Aye, sir!”

* * *

 

As soon as he heard it, Iwaizumi rushed over to Tendou’s place. He was out of breath when he entered the house and almost tripped when he got out of his shoes.

“Tendou! Where are you?” he yelled.

“Woah, Hajime!” Tendou appeared in front of him. “You’re out of breath. Ha, did I took your breath away?” He smiled, but when Iwaizumi glared at him, his smile dropped. “Sorry. You, uh, certainly took mine away. If I’d breathe, I mean.”

“You don’t breathe?” Iwaizumi asked.

“I do… most of the times. It’s a habit, but I don’t need to. I also don’t need to blink, I’d win every blinking contest! It’s creepy once you pay attention to it, want me to show?” Tendou asked and Iwaizumi opened his mouth, wanted to snarl some comment at him, but then he remembered why he was here.

“Forget it! Your house is going to be torn down!”

“Ha?”

“Next week,” Iwaizumi said. “I told you we’ll give up, right? They’re going to tear down the house and build another one on it. Just bulldoze it. Some big company has already bought the property.”

“Whaaat?!” Tendou screamed. “No! They can’t do that! This is _my_ house!”

“They kind of can,” Iwaizumi said. “It’s… well, not technically yours.”

Tendou shook his head. “No!” He flew past Iwaizumi and upstairs. The whole house was shaking, the walls and the furniture. Iwaizumi was used to this, he just followed Tendou upstairs. “Hey, Tendou! Stop! I know you’re upset, but-” 

He found him in one of the bedrooms, sitting in the corner, hugging his kneels to his chest. “This is where my bed used to be,” he said quietly. Iwaizumi didn’t know what to do, so he just sat down next to Tendou. He could almost see completely through him.

“Did you live here with your family?”

Tendou nodded. “I had a pet lizard.”

“Who the hell has a pet lizard?”

“Me.” Iwaizumi chuckled, but Tendou didn’t smile. He didn’t even look at Iwaizumi. “I was born and raised here! I died two streets down the road actually. I was visiting my parents. They picked me up from the train station and we were driving home, and I still don’t know how it happened…”

So this is how he died. Iwaizumi swallowed hard. “How old were you?”

“Twenty-eight,” Tendou said. Just two years older than Iwaizumi was right now. “I lived in Tokyo, but I hated it there. I wanted to go back and live here, that’s what I wanted to tell my family. I hated my job and everything it was so _boring_.

But before that happened… Before that I died. And now I’m here alone, all my family is gone. And now… I really do live here.“ He laughed and Iwaizumi put his hand on Tendou’s shoulder. He didn’t materialize himself, so he almost grabbed through his shoulder, but as soon as Tendou noticed what he was doing, he materialized himself.

“How long was that ago?”

“Eh… Six years I think. My aunt lived here for a while, and I didn’t mind it, so I never did anything, but then she moved away and sold it and I hate thinking about anyone else but a Tendou living here. This is my _family’s_ home!” Tendou was shaking and Iwaizumi’s hand slowly moved from his shoulder to his arm and down to his hand. He took it in his.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Tendou had tears in his eyes. “Don’t be. Shouldn’t have haunted so much. Should’ve just let somebody buy it. Not Futakuchi though, I don’t like him.”

Iwaizumi smiled. “Yeah, not him.”

“Can’t you buy it?”

“It’s too late now anyway. It was already sold.” Iwaizumi sighed. “I wish I could do something.”

Tendou sighed and then squeezed Iwaizumi’s hand. “Eh, I’ll have to haunt the new place then.”

Iwaizumi looked down. “But everything will be gone,” he said. “There’s nothing for you here. Don’t you have… Well, ghost rules?”

Tendou blinked. “Oh. I forgot… I mean… Yes.”

“What does that mean?”

Tendou shrugged. “Probably that I’ll disappear. I should move on, right? My entire family has too already! I’m the only one still stuck here. And your life would be easier too, Hajime, right? You’ll finally be able to sell houses again! And no one will interfere when somebody asks you out-”

“Tendou,” Iwaizumi said firmly.

“What?”

Iwaizumi couldn’t believe he was doing this, but he let go of Tendou’s hand and cupped his face. He leaned forward and placed his lips on Tendou’s softly. He closed his eyes and when he broke the kiss and opened them again, Tendou was staring at him with wide eyes.

“Just because you don’t have to blink, doesn’t mean you should stare at me like that when I kissed you, you know?” Iwaizumi said, but his whole face was heating up.

“Do that again!”

“No.”

“Come on, Hajime!” Tendou nudged him.

“Stop being annoying.”

“Pleaaaase.”

Iwaizumi groaned and kissed him a second time, this time it lasted for way longer. Tendou wasn’t particularly cold or anything, not how you’d think it would be like to kiss a ghost. If anyone even thought about that. It felt… like kissing a living human and it felt nice. Very nice actually.

Tendou smiled when they broke their kiss again. “I can’t believe you fell for a ghost. Heh, you have a ghost kink?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Iwaizumi said and buried his face in Tendou’s shoulder. “Seriously.”

* * *

 

Iwaizumi was standing outside the house, leaning against his car when they tore down the house. Tendou was right next to him. He wondered if the other people knew he was a ghost.

“I’ll probably be gone,” Tendou said. Iwaizumi laughed. “Why are you laughing? You want me gone so badly, Hajime?”

“Of course not,” Iwaizumi said and turned to him. “I’m laughing because I haven’t even really liked anyone in years and now I fell for a ghost who’s going to leave me to go to the afterlife.”

Tendou stared at him. “You like me?!”

“I wouldn’t have _kissed_ you if I wouldn’t,” Iwaizumi said. “I wouldn’t have…” He looked away. “Done all the… other stuff if I wouldn’t.”

“Who knows, maybe you’re a necrophile.”

“What?! You’re a ghost and not a fucking corpse, you shit!” Iwaizumi shoved his shoulder and Tendou laughed and hugged him. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to leave you either.”

“Let go, we’re in public,” Iwaizumi said.

“This might be our last time.”

Iwaizumi hugged him back as an answer, leaning his forehead on Tendou’s shoulder. “Shit.”

“Are you crying?” Tendou asked. “Don’t cry.”

“Of course I’m crying, you idiot!” Iwaizumi let him go and wiped away his tears. “I don’t want you to be gone.”

Tendou still had his arms around his waist and kissed him on his forehead. Iwaizumi couldn’t care less about people staring at them. “Be happy for me, okay? Find some cool guy. Or girl. But please don’t call Futakuchi, I swear. I can’t come and haunt you as a ghost, because well, I can’t get any ghostlier than this… Just don’t okay?”

Iwaizumi blinked at him. “You’re the one leaving me and you want to tell me who to date or not?!”

“Okay, sorry!”

“Just kidding. I won’t.” Iwaizumi smiled. “He’s not my type.”

“What’s your type?” Tendou asked smugly.

“Not redhead tall guys who barely blink. That creeps me out.”

“Hey!” 

Iwaizumi laughed and so did Tendou. “Hey, Hajime?”

“Mh?”

“I love you.” Tendou kissed him and hugged him closer, tightening his grip. “I love you, don’t forget that.”

Iwaizumi felt tears coming up again and closed his eyes. “I love you too, idiot.” Tendou kissed him and that was when the building was completely destroyed. He felt the arms around his waist disappearing and Tendou’s body against his too. When Iwaizumi opened his eyes again, he was gone.

He couldn’t believe it. He really was gone. Iwaizumi wiped away his tears and looked around. There was a little boy staring at him with wide eyes and Iwaizumi raised his index finger to his lips before entering his car and driving away.

It was over for them.

* * *

 

A week has passed in which Iwaizumi had hung up way more often at Oikawa’s place and had told him about Tendou. Oikawa knew about him, has met him even once, but he didn’t know that Iwaizumi and Tendou were _that_ close.

It was a long and hard day for Iwaizumi, all of them had been ever since Tendou disappeared. He loosened up his tie and closed his eyes when he entered his bedroom, when suddenly somebody whistled.

“Oh, baby, give me a show!”

Iwaizumi opened his eyes to see Tendou lying on his bed. “Satori!” he shouted and ran towards him, practically tackling him on the bed and hugging him around the middle.

“Woah! Didn’t know you’d be that happy to see me!”

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Iwaizumi asked, sitting up, putting his hand on Tendou’s cheeks. Before Tendou could answer, he leaned down and kissed him. 

“Shit, I should be gone way more often.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Iwaizumi warned him. “Okay. Explain.” 

Tendou sat up on his elbows. “Well… you know ghost rules, right? How I can just stay where something precious is to me? I was gone because, my house was gone and well… Now I’m here.”

“Yes, now you’re here,” Iwaizumi repeated. “So?”

Tendou rolled his eyes. “Are you dense? Come on, Hajime, think! I can only be where something precious to me is! Something that _matters_ to me!”

Iwaizumi furrowed his brows. “But here’s nothing except for- _Oh_.” He blushed and put his face in his hands. “No.”

“Yes!” Tendou took his hand into his and kissed his nose. “You’re precious to me. That’s why I’m here.”

“I hate you.”

“You don’t.”

“I wished I do,” Iwaizumi said.

“Nah.”

“Fuck you.” He kissed him and Tendou kissed him back just as eagerly. “Haha, now I’m gonna be the Poltergeist in your house.”

Iwaizumi sighed. “Just don’t leave again, okay?”

“As long as you want me by your side, I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s cheesy,” Iwaizumi said and Tendou shrugged.

“I _am_ cheesy. Your friendly cheesy Poltergeist.” Iwaizumi couldn’t help but smile as a response. 

**Author's Note:**

> first iwaten fic where i didnt mention some weeb shit  
> oh wait  
> i did  
> f UCK 
> 
> hmu at [@terushimasyuji ](terushimasyuji.tumblr.com)on tumblr dot com


End file.
